2012....and all that lies beyond

I am a big fan of New Year's resolutions.  When I was an adolescent, I would load the "My New Year's Resolution" page down with lofty aspirations, un-achievable goals, and fairy tale dreams.  I believe some of the items on the list included things like, "learn three foreign languages", "become an expert in botany", "have a few horses", "meet the president."  I always aimed high.  (Though let me point out that to this day, I only speak English fluently, I can't keep a plant alive to save my life, I remained years in Queens NYC with no backyard for a horse and have never come close to owning one, and briefly meeting the Mayor of the capital city in an African country is the closest thing to meeting anybody's president.)

Yet, as an adult now, I still believe in aiming high.  My resolutions now, however, include phrases like, "first grade homework", "making dinner", "putting together marketing plans", and "staying on top of laundry".  One way or another, I want to be the best I can be and have the best, fullest year I possibly can.

By nature, I love dreaming and planning.  Though, after several years of heartache and a massive case of what I like to call "major life hiccups", squeezing those goals and dreams onto a page can be a painful challenge for me.

Life and the Lord have taught me how thoroughly dependent I am on God's mercy, and nothing is guaranteed except for His loving kindness.

What a wonderful thing to have guaranteed to us though, yes?  The Creator of the Universe's loving kindness, mercy and goodness.  Our first reaction should be to take a huge sigh of relief, throw our feet up and just lean back, resting in that truth.

However, through less than perfect circumstances and experiences, I have seen what understanding new depths of that love can cost.  And while we can always (and I mean always) bank on God's goodness and favor and love toward us, the methods and tools He uses while we are in this fallen sinful world to display His love to us can sometimes kill our flesh.  (The Apostle Paul pretty much nails it in the first part of Romans 8.)

Even in the midst of our trials that ultimately lead us into a deeper revelation of His love, I am a firm believer in the green pastures and quiet waters.  (The Bible offers the most glorious contrasts.)  I love the promises and truths of Psalm 23.  I have a God that "prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies."  God sees fit to bring out the table, throw open the table cloth (I always imagine this act with a gigantic, dramatic swishing and swooping of an elaborate fabric), and spread out the nourishment and refreshment and goodness (again, that word) right in the face of those who wish us harm.  Amazing, how He thinks.

So, on this new journey called 2012, I pray that I can hitch my wagon even more securely onto Him, bumping and bouncing back here, all the way through this year, knowing that wherever He takes my family and I, we get the amazing privilege of having the most wonderful Person in the universe, the most creative Person, the wisest, keenest, kindest, loving, adventurous God leading the way.  And when trials come and go, as they will, I pray that I can always remember to enjoy His rest out in those green pastures He promised us.